I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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