You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sorry about my life...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
