Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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