I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
