This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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