Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
