Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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