they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
do herpes really smell.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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