tell your sister to shave her snatch
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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