as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
