Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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