did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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