do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
