Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yo dont text me then not text me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
