No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
