apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
