And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
