i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
bring money and cleavage
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
