so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
