that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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