Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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