Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
