I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
