dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
