You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
