My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
