I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
