I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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