Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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