glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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