Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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