the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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