i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
