Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
