somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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