69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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