He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize