summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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