My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize