so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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