I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
