Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
