It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
