Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
