Pappa wants mamma naked
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
