he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
