the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Be still, my beating vagina.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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