you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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