If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
