I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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