Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
