Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
