KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
