JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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