Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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