I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
