Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
