textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize