Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
