Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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