Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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