Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
