this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
