I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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