how can u be prego again
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
