he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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