How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
worst night to have a conscience
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize