I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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