I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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