oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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